#abouttoislam

إذا كان بإمكانك اختيار أي حيوان خيالي ليكون رفيقك مدى الحياة (مثل: بوكيمون أو حيوان أليف من عالم خيالي)، فماذا ستختار؟

It is further narrated on the authority of ‘Ali may Allah be pleased with him that he said, “Address the people with that which is within their power to grasp: do you wish that Allah the Almighty and His Messenger sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ) should be belied?” [Imam Muslim]

Considering the individual differences between family members
When Allah the Almighty created all things and gave them of His bounties, they came to be different from each other. Allah the Almighty mentions that difference in the Quran (what means): {And [We] have raised some of them above others in degrees [of rank]} [Quran 43:32]

This excelling may be related to physical skill, depth of knowledge, intellectual efficiency, livelihood resources and means and so on. Allah the Almighty Says about Taloot (Saul – the king of Israel people) in the Quran (what means): {And their prophet said to them, “Indeed, Allah has sent to you Saul as a king.” They said, “How can he have kingship over us while we are more worthy of kingship than him, and he has not been given any measure of wealth?” He said, “Indeed, Allah has chosen him over you and has increased him abundantly in knowledge and stature. And Allah gives His sovereignty to whom He wills. And Allah is All-Encompassing [in favor] and Knowing”} [Quran 2:247]

For this reason, Islam addresses people according to their minds and the extent to which they understand. It is narrated on the authority of Ibn Mas‘ood may Allah be pleased with him that he said, “Never do you address a people with anything that is beyond the reach of their minds but that it would be a cause of Fitnah [tribulation] for some of them.” [Imam Muslim]

It is further narrated on the authority of ‘Ali may Allah be pleased with him that he said, “Address the people with that which is within their power to grasp: do you wish that Allah the Almighty and His Messenger sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ) should be belied?” [Imam Muslim]

The point here is that Islam recognizes individual differences between people, or in other words, recognizes the principle of difference of people’s concerns. What concerns the husband is not necessarily the same as what concerns the wife, and what concerns the children differs from what concerns the head of the family, putting into consideration a basic rule that adjusts those concerns and differences.

Since this applies to the entire Muslim community, it also applies to the Muslim family. The interests of the husband differ from those of the wife. For this reason, it is binding upon the guardian of a family to take heed of those differences and not turn them to a point of dispute that causes harm to his life and the lives of those surrounding him.

The Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ) who is the supreme role model, cared about those individual differences, which he clarified and dealt with positively and turned from being a point of dispute into a point of education and enlightenment. In this respect, it is narrated on the authority of Anas may Allah be pleased with him that once, the Prophet sallallaahualayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ) was in the house of one of the Mothers of Believers (this is how the wives of the Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ) are addressed), when another one of the Mothers of Believers sent him a bowl full of food. The first wife (the wife in the house where the Prophet sallallaahualayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ) was present), struck the servant’s hand who brought the food bowl, thereby making the bowl fall down and break. (According to the majority of Hadeeth reporters except for Imam Al-Bukhari, the first and second wives were ‘A’ishah and Umm Salama may Allah be pleased with them). The Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ) collected the pieces of the bowl together, and went on gathering the food which was in it, while saying: “Your mother became jealous.” Then, he sallallaahualayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ) made the servant stay until he brought a bowl from the one in whose house he was, and gave the intact bowl to the one whose bowl was broken, and kept the broken bowl in its place. [Imam Al-Bukhari]

The Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ) in dealing with that situation, guided us to the best way to deal with one of the women’s individual differences, that is jealousy, which should be dealt with wisely and without giving it much importance.

In this way too, the Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ) paid attention to individual differences when dealing with children. The Prophet sallallaahualayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ) for instance, sometimes carried Al-Hasan and Al-Husayn may Allah be pleased with them during his prayer; Abu Hurayrah may Allah be pleased with him said, “We offered the ‘Ishaa’ prayer with the Messenger of Allah sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allah exalt his mention ) and whenever he fell in prostration, both Al-Hasan and Al-Husayn may Allah be pleased with them jumped on his back; and whenever he raised his head [from prostration], he took them gently with his hand from behind his back, and placed them on the ground; and whenever he fell in prostration once again, they returned [to jump on his back] until when he finished the prayer, he made them sit on his thighs.” [Imam Ahmad] How happy children are when they do this with their fathers during their prayer!

The mistake made by many husbands is that they want the wife and children to cancel these individual differences from their lives and force everyone to share his private desires, inclinations and wishes, harvesting thereby in the household nothing other than distress, and in the community nothing other than estrangement.

“Marital life can hardly be established on the basis of likeness.”

Marital life is established on affection. Whoever wants to make his children a copy of him does not harvest anything but bitterness and distress. A heedful father who follows the guidance of the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and the righteous predecessors does not turn those individual differences into points of dispute in so much as he wisely turns them into educational and instructive means.

Among the examples of individual differences which should be addressed and used as an educational means is that for a lot of women, a pleasant and good word from the husband is better in their sight than many other things. However, unfortunately, the husband might consider saying such words to be awkward, nonsensical, and uncalled for at that stage of their life. Carelessness about this need might leave the wife feeling estranged.

Similarly, some children wait for their fathers to surprise them with sweets or toys upon their return home from work. Unfortunately, a lot of fathers forget that, and which causes the children to feel silent disappointment when the father returns home. Also, many children are fond of playing, but their fathers do not appreciate that, which has a negative effect on the way children are brought up.

It is pressingly important to give importance to those individual differences, which are necessary to enrich the community with a variety that keeps up with the nature of life.

ما الشيء الذي تفعله بشكل مختلف تمامًا عن الطريقة التي تربيت بها؟

Curing the Heart from Stinginess: Finding Abundance Through the Act of Giving
The path to spiritual excellence in Islam is paved with the purification of the soul, a process known as Tazkiyah. Among the various ailments that can afflict the human spirit, few are as pervasive or as socially corrosive as Shuhh—the combined force of greed and stinginess. Islam calls for a life of profound moderation, and within that moderation lies the beautiful symmetry of giving and receiving. A believer’s faith is not considered complete until they wish for their brother or sister what they wish for themselves. This is the hallmark of a true believer, a status reserved for those who love sincerely for the sake of the Creator. However, the journey toward this selfless state often begins with the smallest of human dilemmas, such as a toddler clutching a chocolate bar in his pudgy fists, refusing to let go. These moments, while seemingly trivial, reveal a fundamental truth about our nature: human beings are naturally inclined toward self-centeredness, and the act of sharing is a skill that must be painstakingly learned and cultivated.

The Psychological Root of Stinginess: Overcoming Fear
The Quran acknowledges this inherent struggle in Surah An-Nisa, stating that men’s souls are swayed by greed and inclined to be stingy by nature. We see this manifested in the toddler who pines for undivided attention, the child who refuses to share toys, the teenager competing for social recognition, and the adult caught in a relentless rat-race for professional promotion. Even on a global scale, the widening economic gap is a physical manifestation of a spiritual crisis. What pushes us toward stinginess is ultimately a deeply rooted feeling of fear. We fear poverty, we fear losing our assets, and we fear that we will be unable to reclaim what we have given away. This fear is often a “satanic whisper,” as described in Surah Al-Baqarah: “The Evil One threatens you with poverty and bids you to conduct unseemly. God promiseth you His forgiveness and bounties.” To cure the heart, one must recognize that stinginess is a defensive mechanism born of a lack of trust in the Divine Provider.

The Spiritual Currency: Why Giving is Receiving
Explaining the concept of “giving is receiving” to a child—or even to an adult—is a challenge because the rewards are often not immediately visible in a monetary form. A literal-minded child might imagine chocolate growing on a mint plant as a reward for sharing, while an adult might secretly hope for money to fall from the sky into their lap after a charitable donation. While it rarely works in such a cinematic fashion, the rewards of God are characterized by an abundance that transcends the material. When we give, we are not losing; we are investing in a divine currency that brings tranquility to the heart, barakah (blessing) to our remaining wealth, and security in the Hereafter. The struggle to convince a seven-year-old to share her chocolate with her brother is the same struggle an adult faces when deciding whether to donate a portion of their monthly salary. It is a battle against the “curse of stinginess” that threatens to hoard material belongings that are, in reality, only secondary to our spiritual health.

Eradicating Greed: The Prophetic Mission and Social Justice
The mission of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was particularly difficult because he sought to dismantle a society built on the foundations of greed. In the pagan times of Arabia, the economic gap was atrocious. The rights of the poor were discarded, and slavery was a dominant institution. The concept of giving to the marginalized or caring for orphans was virtually unheard of. When Islam introduced these revolutionary ideas, it was no surprise that the oppressed were the first to be attracted to the faith. They found education, employment, and kind treatment after decades of survival on the fringes of society. Today, we face a similar moral audit. While many live in financial constraints, we are often surrounded by an extravagance that we must take seriously. We must avoid the path of those like Abu Lahab and his wife, whose material pride in this world transformed into a rope of palm-fiber in the next. The Quran guides us toward the middle path in Surah Al-Furqan: “Those who, when they spend, are not extravagant and not niggardly, but hold a just balance between those extremes.”

A Radiant Example: The Generosity of Uthman ibn Affan
One of the most radiant examples of a heart completely cured of stinginess is found in the life of Uthman ibn Affan. Known for his immense wealth, Uthman’s humility and piety far surpassed his financial status. He utilized his resources not for personal accumulation, but to establish the first Baitul-mal (public treasury), to free slaves, and to educate the impoverished. His generosity was most famously displayed during the Battle of Tabuk. When the Prophet called for support to equip the army, Uthman provided camels, gold, and the necessary funds for survival, easily surpassing all other donations without any sense of prideful competition. His reward was a divine guarantee of forgiveness. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “O Uthman! Allah has forgiven you your previous sins as well as your future sins, what you have hidden, as well as what you have made public.” Uthman understood that wealth is a trust from God, and by giving it away, he was securing a treasure that no worldly thief could steal.

Cultivating God-Consciousness and Future Generations
Eradicating stinginess is not a one-step plan; it is a lifelong cultivation of God-consciousness. We must plant the seeds of giving and sharing in our homes and communities. While we may want our children to find success and live in comfort, we must also teach them that true success is found in the ability to give back to society. If they are blessed with wealth, our prayer should be that they use it to build libraries, fund scholarships, and support the needy. Cleansing the heart of the “black speckle” of stinginess is essential because stinginess is ultimately a fear of being abandoned or left with nothing. Faith, however, provides the certainty that we are never abandoned by the Provider. God’s blessings to those who give roll in by leaps and bounds, manifesting as peace of mind, health in our families, and a light that guides us through the darkness of worldly trials.

Practical Steps to Cure the Heart
The practical steps to curing the heart involve starting small and being consistent. Just as a child learns to share a chocolate bar, an adult must learn to share their time, their skills, and their wealth. We must consciously challenge the feeling of fear whenever it arises during an act of charity. When we feel the urge to hoard, we should remind ourselves of the Prophet’s teaching: “Wealth does not decrease by giving in charity.” This is a spiritual paradox that can only be understood through experience. The more we open our hands to give, the more our hearts open to receive the divine light that makes us truly wealthy. Generosity acts as a spiritual cleanser, removing the rust of materialism and allowing the heart to reflect the attributes of the Most Generous.

Conclusion: Embracing a Mindset of Abundance
In conclusion, the effort required to cure the heart from stinginess is perhaps the most rewarding struggle a person can undertake. It is a transition from a life of fear to a life of faith, and from a mindset of scarcity to a mindset of abundance. Whether we are negotiating sibling rivalries over a snack or deciding on significant charitable contributions, every act of giving is a victory over the lower self. By looking to the examples of the Prophet and his companions, we find the courage to overturn our fears of poverty. We realize that the true value of what we possess is found in what we are willing to give away for the sake of others. As we strive to build a more compassionate society, let us remember that the journey begins within the silent chambers of the heart. When we heal ourselves from stinginess, we do not just change our own lives; we contribute to a ripple effect of mercy that has the power to bridge the economic and emotional gaps of our world, leading us toward a future where everyone wishes for their brother what they wish for themselves.

By Maria Zain